As a man going through a divorce, it's crucial to be aware of common mistakes that can significantly impact the outcome of your matrimonial case. In my experience dealing with hundreds of cases for both genders, here are the top 10 mistakes men make during divorce and how to avoid them to ensure a smoother and more favorable outcome.

1. Moving Out Without a Plan

One of men's biggest mistakes is moving out of the marital home without a solid plan, especially when children are involved. Moving out can lead to complications regarding custody, child support, and access to your children. Before deciding to vacate the marital residence, work out a clear custody and parenting time schedule and understand the financial implications of maintaining two households.

2. Not Filing for Divorce First

Although your legal rights are the same whether you are the Plaintiff or a Defendant in a New York State divorce filing, filing first allows you to set the narrative, control the timing, and potentially secure advantageous court orders regarding custody, property, and financial matters. Don’t wait for your spouse to file first—being proactive can make a significant difference in your case.

3. Choosing the Wrong Attorney

Selecting an experienced divorce attorney is crucial. Many men make the mistake of hiring an attorney who isn’t specialized in family law, often based on recommendations or cost. Don’t call your cousin Larry’s college roommate who does real estate closings to deal with your divorce, you only get one chance to get it done right and calling us at Mindin & Mindin, P.C. for a consultation is a good starting point. In New York City, where divorce laws and proceedings can be particularly complex, it’s essential to choose a lawyer who specializes in divorce and has a deep understanding of the local courts and judges. We only practice family and matrimonial law at Mindin & Mindin, P.C. and are equipped to provide you with highly experienced and competent representation.

4. Hiding Money or Assets

Attempting to conceal assets or hide money during a divorce is a critical error that can lead to severe legal consequences. New York courts require full financial disclosure, and failure to be transparent can result in penalties or unfavorable rulings. Always be honest with your attorney and disclose all assets to avoid complications. Remember that there is always a paper trail and the law allows for broad discovery to be conducted in all matrimonial proceedings!

5. Not Being Involved with Your Children

If you have children, it’s essential to be actively involved in their lives, especially during a divorce. Courts in New York look favorably on parents who are engaged and committed to their children’s well-being. Make sure you know your children’s schedules, participate in their activities, and maintain a strong relationship with them.

6. Settling Too Early

Settling your divorce case too early, without having all the necessary information, can lead to unfavorable outcomes. Whether it’s about dividing assets, determining child support, or arranging custody, avoid making hasty decisions. Take the time to gather all facts, consult with your attorney, and carefully consider the long-term implications of any settlement.

7. Using Social Media Carelessly

Social media can be a dangerous platform during a divorce. Anything you post can be used against you in court. A screenshot is worth a thousand words! In New York City, where privacy is already a concern, it’s best to avoid social media altogether during your divorce proceedings. If you must use it, be extremely cautious and avoid posting anything that could be misconstrued.

8. Not Following Court Orders

Ignoring court orders is a serious mistake that can lead to legal penalties, including being held in contempt of court (which in some instances comes with handcuffs and an all-expenses paid trip to Riker’s Island). Whether it’s related to custody, property, or financial obligations, always comply with court orders. If you believe an order is unfair, consult your attorney about the possibility of modifying it legally. Don’t take it into your own hands.

9. Removing Your Wife from Health Insurance

Don’t make the mistake of removing your wife from health insurance or other beneficiary designations prematurely. In New York, making unilateral decisions about financial matters during a divorce can lead to legal complications and make you look unfavorable in the eyes of the court. Always maintain the status quo until there is a legal agreement in place.

10. Refusing to Compromise

Divorce is a negotiation process; refusing to compromise can prolong the process and increase legal costs. Being rigid and unwilling to negotiate can backfire whether it’s about custody, property, or financial matters. Approach your divorce with an open mind and be willing to find common ground with your spouse.

Divorce in New York City is often complex and challenging, but by avoiding these common mistakes, you can protect your interests and achieve a more favorable outcome. The key to success is being proactive, choosing the right attorney, and staying informed throughout the process.

If you're facing a divorce in New York City and want to avoid these common pitfalls, contact us at Mindin & Mindin, P.C. today to for a free consultation. Our experienced divorce attorneys can guide you through the process and help you make informed decisions to protect your future.